Monday, 9 June 2008

'Over Parenting'

I'm not sure why I've called this post 'Over Parenting' as that's one of the few things that's certainly not gone on around here of late. Everything else has been going on though, or so it seems.

Sometimes it gets to the end of the day and it feels that I've been on hand all day, made meals, answered all kinds of questions, retrieved toys stuck on trees, passed down games from high shelves, kissed bumps and bruises better plus much more besides. However, it doesn't feel like I've spent any *real* (aka *quality* perhaps) time with the children.

But then what is *real* time? Surely all time is real and all time has a quality of it's own?

I spent a long time thinking that I was responsible for keeping my children continuously occupied. Caught up on a merry go round of stimulating activities and social engagements. I think my decision to home educate fuelled my constant desire to keep them busy - as if activity somehow equalled growth and development.

In the last couple of months I've been too busy to be as attentive as I was before. I spend quite a lot of time in the vegetable patch because I attach a lot of value to providing my family with some fresh food.

Slug and lettuce

Feathery fennel

Potatoes and geraniums by the patio

I've been busy with Wooly Wonders because although mumming is the most important job I'll ever do, I need to do something else too.

This weeks creation which started out as a necklace.

But it grew so long that I think I may keep it and decorate my headboard with it.

I've been trying to help Craig keep afloat while he sails through choppy waters as the effect of being part of the 'sandwich generation' bites again.

Both Miles and Hermione have become much more relaxed in their own company. They were both reasonably happy doing their own thing before but seem to find greater pleasure in their own pursuits now and for much longer periods of time too. Whats more I've become a lot more comfortable with it. I've stopped being an 'in yer face' mother and I think that's a good thing.

I've concluded that it's time to quit feeling guilty about the time I do spend in the vegetable garden and playing with wool. By being occupied with other things of late I've given my children the opportunity to develop sufficient curiosity and imagination to spend more time creatively alone. I think that to know you can be alone with yourself and take pleasure from those moments is a real blessing in life. I'm so pleased I've had a 'lights on moment' about this. I feel that weight has been lifted from me and we can carry on living life together yet apart, a life with a very special quality indeed.


Anonymous said...

You do a great job :)

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have the right balance of being mummy and doing something for you too :0)