Well, where do I begin tonight? The children have done lots over the past couple of days - and I know this essentially a 'home ed' blog - but tonight I'm going to blog about a lesson I learned to day - a lesson I learned the hard way.

When I was at university I had a very special friend. I can't possibly imagine my university days without him. Once we were working we stayed in touch and visited each other regularly although our career paths saw us in different parts of the country. Some how, I'm not sure exactly how, we drifted. We lost contact. I married and had children. He later married also.

I've thought about him often and always told myself I would track him down one day and see how he was. I kept putting off though - waiting till I had lost the post pregnancy flab, waiting till the children were sleeping through the night so I was more human less zombie, waiting till all my hair that fell out grew back...and so it went.

Today I decided I couldn't put off any longer. The children were out at a workshop. I tracked down his employer through his professional regulatory body. I took a deep breath and dialed the number. I asked the receptionist if he still worked at those chambers and if I could speak to him. There was silence. 'I don't know how best to say this' she said, 'he's dead, he died of a brain tumour.' He was thirty eight. He died the day I gave birth to Miles. Why did I wait?

I know I always laughed at your taste in music Rob, but this ones for you xxx